(originally published October 19, 2006, in the Illinois Times)

if you’re wondering how to
get rid of a pesky housefly
turn off all the lights open
the fridge door he’ll fly right into
the sudden brightness slam the
door later on open it cautiously
in his numbed state he’s easily
dispatched with a napkin but
be sure you’ve covered the butter
my grampa had the idea earlier
his cows entered the round barn
through a dim passage a hanging
blanket brushed the flies off their backs
the only light a bright slit overhead
they flew up crawled through
into a closed room all windows
no way out no sense to crawl back
through the now dark slit a farmhand
would sometimes enter the room and
shovel up a bushel of desiccated
bodies not many of us have cows
these days but most of us have fridges
maybe I should send this household
hint to heloise I wonder if she pays